The holiday season is here again. Twinkling lights, decorations, time with family and friends and, of course, lots of food.
While holiday get-togethers can be fun, the focus on big meals and endless sweet treats can make the season stressful if you have an eating disorder.
“The focus on food around the holidays can make this season challenging for those with an eating disorder,” said Jacquelin Esque, MD, a psychiatrist with Banner - University Medicine.
But the holidays don’t have to be something you dread. With the support of Dr. Esque, we share several tips and simple strategies to help you navigate the holidays and protect your mental health.
1. Set boundaries with family and friends
Holiday gatherings often revolve around food and that can be overwhelming. It’s okay to tell people what you need. Let your family and friends know what makes you uncomfortable. It’s OK to ask them not to comment on what you’re eating or to avoid conversations about diets and weight.
“Friends and family should focus on emotions rather than food,” Dr. Esque said. “They can avoid pointing out what their loved one is eating. Instead, ask how they feel and focus on their emotional well-being.”
2. Offer to help
If you’re comfortable, offer to help in the kitchen to keep your hands and mind busy with a task. Offer to put together a veggie tray and pass drinks to guests.
Or you can offer to bring a meal, something you feel comfortable eating. This way, you’ll have something you can enjoy without stress.
3. Reframe harmful comments
During holiday gatherings, you might hear comments like, “You’re not eating enough” or “Wow, you’ve gained/lost weight!” These remarks can feel hurtful and trigger anxiety.
It’s okay to change the subject or reframe the comments as if they are something that doesn’t matter to you. You can politely say something like, “I’m focused on feeling healthy and happy,” or redirect the conversation to a different topic.
“Feel empowered to set limits and even consider letting family members know ahead of time that it is not okay to make comments on your weight or eating patterns,” Dr. Esque said.
4. Stick to a routine
Eating disorders thrive on stress and chaos. To help manage these, stick to your regular routine as much as possible. Eat meals regularly, get enough sleep, make time for activities you enjoy and find moments to relax.
“Stick to your regular meal plan and try not to overbook your schedule with too many activities,” Dr. Esque said. “Keep appointments with your treatment team, even during the holidays.”
If you’re traveling, bring things that can help you cope, like a journal, a comforting music playlist or even a list of strategies that have worked in the past. Little things can make a big difference when you feel stressed, anxious or overwhelmed.
5. Lean on your support system
If you notice yourself feeling more stressed or isolated, it’s important to reach out. This includes friends, family and your treatment team, including therapists and support groups.
“Changes in mood, sleep or eating patterns are signs that you may be struggling,” Dr. Esque said. “If you notice these changes, talk to your treatment team or ask a trusted friend or family member for support.”
If you have a loved one with an eating disorder, check in on them. Ask how they’re feeling and if they need any help. “If you notice a change, bring this up in a kind and non-judgmental way,” Dr. Esque said. “Let them know you are available for support.”
6. Avoid fasting or starving yourself
Don’t try to restrict your diet in preparation for the big holiday meal.
Eat regularly to keep your energy levels stable. If mealtimes vary from when you usually eat, come prepared with snacks. Drink plenty of water and try to avoid overindulging in alcohol, which can make it more challenging to focus on your recovery.
7. Create new traditions
Many holiday traditions center around food. Try shifting the focus away from food by creating traditions that don’t involve meals. Watch a holiday movie, play a game or take a family walk. Celebrate in a way that feels right for you.
8. Be kind to yourself
It’s okay if things don’t go perfectly. If you find yourself struggling or engaging in old eating disorder behaviors, don’t be hard on yourself. Recovery is a journey and setbacks are normal.
“Relapse is often a part of the recovery process,” Dr. Esque said. “The key is to be compassionate with yourself and talk to your treatment team if you are struggling.”
Make a list of strategies that have helped you in the past and lean on them when things get tough. Remember that every day is a new opportunity to make choices that support your recovery.
Takeaway
The holidays are a time for connection and celebration, but they can also bring up challenges for those with eating disorders. You can enjoy the season while maintaining your recovery by setting boundaries, sticking with a routine and reaching out for support when needed.
If you or someone you love is struggling, don’t hesitate to seek help. You can contact Banner Behavioral Health at 800-254-4357 or the National Eating Disorders Helpline at 800-931-2237 for support, resources and treatment options.
Remember, recovery is possible – even during the holidays.
